not much of a planner

i’m not much of a planner; especially when it comes to things that are way far off into the future.

one thing that has always been a major flaw with me is that i always do things without thinking about it first. in an ideal world, that spontaneity would make me some sassy free-spirited fun 21-year old. pffft i wish. in reality, it’s really a fine line that separates being spontaneous and thoughtless.

i do things in the spur of the moment – and at that moment am 100% sure of my decision -, and then a few days/weeks down the road i immediately regret it and think “what.on.earth.did.i.do!?!?!”.

but i digress.. the point was to illustrate how i’m not very much of a planner.

i used to marvel at how some girls knew exactly what they wanted out of life, what they were going to do a few weeks down the road – specifically the japanese girls and their obsession with filling in their organizers in perfect details -, and how their idea of what was perfect never wavered.

there are only very few things that i am completely sure of, and even after years since i last thought of it, nothing has changed.

first, that this has to be the song playing at my wedding when i walk down the aisle. i always hear of my friends saying it definitely has to be shania twain for them, or most recently it is “a thousand years”. for some reason though, the only song that has ever appealed to me is this:

there’s just..something about the song. it always has been, and always will be my idea of THE epitome of a romantic song.

and then at my funeral, this has to be read at my funeral. you’d think thinking of my death (wtf) when i’m 21 is super morbid, but this poem is absolutely beautiful.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

it’s the perfect way to go; simple, humbling and just.. beautiful.

bra shopping in england

i’ve made the title of the post very explicit so everyone who feels awkward about girly issues can.. skip this post hahaha..

i never realised how hard bra shopping is in england – especially if you’re cursed with awkward cup sizes. i usually get my bras from japan because it seems to complement me best – everything from its fit to its padding – but i totally forgot to get new ones during the last trip to japan. that left me with two options: just suck it up and try getting one here, or to use my ratty old ones until i go back to japan this year.

obviously, being the classy young woman (ahem) that i am, i opted for the first option. also because jess was going to get some new bras anyway, so i tagged along.

apparently marks and spencer’s has the best range of affordable, comfortable and sexy looking lingerie so jess claimed i had my best shot of finding one there.

everything was fine and dandy; we waited about 10 minutes for a woman to carry out a fitting and measuring session for us. everyone who knows both of us in real life would know that we have….. majorly contrasting breast sizes HAHAHA so i was feeling awkward enough being measured by the same woman after jess; in the same changing room.

but anyway, she was done and gave me a paper that had my measurements: 34AA.

DOUBLE A.

what is this madness? i am a C in japan HAHAHAHA do companies change their cup sizes to adapt to the general population?

we walked around the floor to find some pretty looking bras; jess obviously had no problem picking up some sexy looking ones.

i saw a few that caught my eye – a pink leopard print one, a soft nude coloured one and a black lacy one -, but none of them went down to 34AA.

so jess told me “just go for the A but go down an underbust size” so i listened to her. also because i was in disbelief that i was actually a AA cup, i picked some C cup in various underbust sizes – hoping that the measurements given were wrong because the woman somehow messed the fitting up.

went back to the changing room and NOTHING fit ugh so i guess it was time to face the truth that i actually am a AA cup.

dragged jess out with me again to look for bras that actually went down to AA but it was so hard finding one!! suddenly i heard jess laugh and call my name.

“kei i found your size!!!!”

…. it was all plain cotton ones. where was my sassy lingerie??

jess at this point was still chuckling and smiling cheekily to me, and then i looked up and realised the reason behind her chuckling.

“angel: your first lingerie”

oh goddddddd the only line that catered to my size was the training bras meant for teenage girls T_T

PS: even then the AA was too small so i suppose i just have to accept that i am not meant to buy lingerie here.

 

walking in a winter wonderland

i’ve neglected this blog once again hahahahaa so much for being persistent in documenting my life.

the past week has been freezing – even for england -, and it took away any semblance of a social life i had. declined going out two nights in a row because i didn’t even want to step foot outside (to be fair, those two outings got cancelled anyway because nobody could manage to get a cab), haven’t been going to the gym at all because i wake up freezing and do not even want to get out from my duvet, have resorted to only doing tesco shops online.. the only time i drag myself out of the house is to make it to lectures and food dates (hoho my inability to refuse food is nothing new).

and when sheffield’s streets were covered in a thick blanket of snow, it looked so pretty from the inside but i couldn’t bring myself to step outside. as everyone mentioned, i’m an epic fail at being an international student; case demonstrated from the numerous international students having snowball fights and making snowmen.

lash finally succeeded in dragging me out on one of the days to have a walk – albeit a freezing one -, so i took my camera out and started snapping away. speaking of the camera, it really is underutilized hahahaha i do not even know what made me buy one.

testing the pinhole filter

 

while it was still looking white and pretty

 

poor car

 

the next few days, the snow got heavier and more of a nuisance (read: slippery, icy, dirty and brown) and all of us could not wait for it to melt away.

hmm since i broke the hermit-like situation of this blog, hopefully i’ll continue in my efforts to document everything!

 

japan 2012

Another year has come and gone, and I’m back in Japan for my annual family trip.

So I said my goodbyes reluctantly -albeit masked by the whole excitement of a month long break from uni- and packed my bags the night before in my usual warranted panic.

tokyo’s skyline

Taken from my uncle’s room in Shinjuku. as much as I love small towns – unlike many others, I don’t quite mind not having huge shopping malls, subway systems or the other things associated with big cities -, I still occasionally enjoy watching the busy city life from the sidelines. I can never see myself living in Tokyo, but it’s still such an interesting city; with the constant hustle and huge skyscrapers surrounded with beautiful illuminations.

A much too grainy photo of the family, but there it is. As much as I love Sheffield and miss it the moment I leave, I don’t regret coming here. I guess I sometimes forget how much I miss them – the twins especially – when I’m at uni living my life, but it is so so good to have a proper family dinner with everyone. We had dinner at the most amazing French (haha!) restaurant with the view of Minatomirai in Yokohama.

one half of the twins and i

A better photograph with the aforementioned view. Ahhh so nice, the combination of good food (even better if it has French bread/pastries) and the good view is enough to put me in such a good mood.

view from one of the temples in kamakura

To be honest, I think Japan makes such a good tourist destination because it has the perfect combination of the whole city bustle with its bright lights and modernization, yet still manages to retain its traditional custom.

one of the temples in kamakura

Kamakura was just one of those cities that made me feel like I traveled back a few centuries; with its abundant temples and gardens, quaint little houses and beautiful views. Reminded me so much of Kyoto, except at the fraction of the price it would cost to visit Kyoto.

pretty leaves

I’m easily amused hahaha I thought even the leaves were so pretty.

One of the pathways at the temple

 

Because I thought ‘Cross Process’ was the appropriate filter to use for the olden town of Kamakura lololol.

Adorable kids on the train home

Arghghghg look at how adorable they are, just standing there looking outside <333

Add a lot of good food photos (and subsequent weight gain) to this post, and that is basically how my past two weeks have been. Here’s to another two more weeks!

 

when you wish upon a star

when i look back on my first year, the only regret i had was that i did not get involved in anything. yeah i had the stereotypical life of a student: sleeping, eating, occasional nights out, meeting new people etc – all of which were amazing, but i just wished i got more involved in all the societies/opportunities there were.

then i saw a youtube video and the disney girl in me – one who believes in magic and fairytales – just knew i had to get involved in something as amazing as this.

fast forward a few months later, and i got an e-mail notifying me that i could attend its training session to be a ‘wish visitor’.

not knowing what to expect or what was expected of me to do, i went for it and came back feeling like it was the best thing i signed myself up for.

make a wish really is unlike any other organizations i’ve heard of, and i feel like that’s the whole point of it: giving the children ( and their families) something to distract them with. it doesn’t at all feel like a charity organization, and everyone involved is just the loveliest bunch of people ever.

chris who gave us the training was the most optimistic and professional person, and everything he said struck a chord with me; eventually resulting in me frantically nodding my head and smiling like a child.

amongst the many inspiring things he said was:

“it may be cheesy, but being involved in something like this is magical because to the children involved, you are creating their magic. it’s their wish being granted, and a chance to get away and forget for one day that they’re facing something horrible.“

it’s just crazily amazing, being involved in creating happiness and incredibly humbling to even have the chance to have the slight involvement in all of it. it’s incredible that sometimes those granted wishes help the resilient children in terms of their prognosis, and even if it doesn’t it is incredible all the same just to be able to give them a day of magic and pure happiness.

i’m obviously far from becoming a wish visitor, but still am excited just to be involved in this.